Why I do this / Why am I doing this??

Earlier, I received the email from Stuart at Bearbones Bikepacking with the Bearbones 300 route attached. This is happening next weekend. I was tremendously excited as I uploaded it to the OS app (which is OK on the 'puter but crap on the phone) and even more excited when I saw where it would be taking me - through bits I'd done on the previous two editions but lots and lots of new stuff. And some proper moorland challenges - vague line, big lump of grass, tussock and bog infested hillside.

In 2014 I did my first bikepacking ITT completion of the Cairngorms loop. This was a couple of weeks after Hurricane Bertha passed through and this lead to some major challenges. Or at least they were at the time. These days?? Looking back to what I went through my first thought was - "why all the distress, that was easy!" Of course it wasn't at the time, but in the 9 years since I've been there and done that - wet and dry Highland Trails, another CL in a range of weather, YD2 and 300's, LLTL, you name it I've... well you know. 

The BB200 gained a fearsome reputation in 2014 but being objective it wasn't that bad and editions since then look to have been much more straightforward, with only the fickle Welsh Autumn weather being the major influence on how well the route went. Both my rides have been in unbelievably dry weather so I'm not in a position to be objective. Given this and a dry run round both this years HT and NYM300, I'm accepting the fact that this years BB will be a wet one.

An initial scope of the route indicates a number of 'challenges' those moor crossings on a vague / damp / tussocky trail, one of which will definitely be done after dark O'clock. Of course I've a massive amount of experience of riding such stuff, thanks to my beloved local hills, the Ochills, but when you add it into a 300k route with 7500+m of climbing, you do get that sudden thought of...."can I do this?" Not so much a crisis of confidence as a crisis of what exactly the hell am I doing taking on something that by any reckoning is ridiculously, comically hard.

I can't answer that question. OK, try harder. 7500m of climbing also means 7500m of descending. Mid Wales is a fab place and I will properly enjoy the landscape (presuming I actually get to see it) There will be some top class riding - not the techy boulder fests of the HT but some good stuff that will remind me, yet again, of why I love riding bikes off road. Plus Spar shops! Community cafes that leave the front porch open! Co-ops! Pubs! Wee village shops that sell everything! Riding into the night! riding out of the night! Eating anything and everything to keep the motor running! etc. etc. OK and to put a selfish, egotistical spin on it - doing something which even many experienced bike riders would baulk at, and normal people would be totally incapable of comprehending.

A big part of it is that I know how to pace myself, what stuff to take (I'm getting some proper shut eye this year) what bike to ride (Jones SS natch) and what will happen - big smiles, energy dips, more smiles, total confusion as to where the hell I am, disbelief/belief in myself, complete lack of giving the remotest shit about anything other than moving forward, total disregard for anything other than that which allows me to keep moving forward, and a vane hope that either me or the bike doesn't throw up an unsolvable mechanical.

And of course the great unknown. Because anything might happen. But isn't that the essence of an adventure? See you on the other side....